RANSVESTIA

trolysis. Due to the strong effects of the hormones on my mind I could no longer work as a man and started to live as a woman full time. I got a job as a waitress and for a while I thought I had it made.

About a year went by and then the surgeon told me that his colleagues had persuaded him not to attempt the surgery for the bad publicity it would bring. Naturally I was desolated. I quit my job and drove over 1500 miles, determined to get a new start. It was in my new home that the first seeds of doubt began to sprout. What was I headed for? I had de- stroyed a marriage, a promising career and many friendships.

I met many other T. S.s, both pre- and post-operative and found that this is the world that most of them live in. No friends, menial work and little future. After many sleepless nights I decided to return to living as a man and to try to resume my career.

This wasn't as easy as it sounds. I had spend almost two years trying to erase every sign of masculinity and had succeeded all too well. I was fired from one job after another for failing to think and act as a typical man. I had no job, no money and no friends. I called my former wife but she didn't want me back either. It is an old saying, “When you are at the bottom you have no place to go but up." I talked with Virginia last fall when she was in New York and as always she was a great help. I managed to find a good job and hold on to it.

I also have a wonderful girl friend who has helped a lot and the fu- ture now looks pretty bright. I am still a T.V. although I haven't dressed for a while, but the T.S. desires are now only an occasional dream of what might have been.

Those of you who are now considering the operation probably figure, "What has this to do with me? My doctor agrees that I am a T.S. and I think I am too! She never was really one, but I am!” That is exactly the point I have tried to make! My doctors and I felt the same way! Under the influence of hormones and other T.S.s you have no choice but to feel that way. What is the answer? I don't know, I wish I did. What I do know is that T.S. is not the logical end of T.V. The pleasure and satisfaction derived from T.V. are sufficient ends in themselves.

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